Thoughts of a Top Cat

Now dees is too ver intersting pickshers. I has always been a Guraniad cat and has lieked to sit on it most dais. Here I is sittin on chris langhams' face and very comfy it is two, yoo will notice dat i is glancin at der IT seckshun. Why yoo call a bit of paper 'it' i dont' know. where is it? on der table! i suppose its' quik. Ack-shirley, quiet offen the hoomans want to reed der bit i am sittin on and day say - bugger off biggles - wot day say quiet alot cos dey luv me!! Ah. most often i dusnt move but i purr lots when dey sey dis and den i get lots of strokes. sum peeple dont liek havin cats sit on der table - der woz cats befour me hear (wots befour me mean?) and dey wos'nt aloud on der table so dey ust to jump off wen dey here der hoomans cum, so dey givd up on dis wiv me n runty n gwen. [I has bean told i has to rite bout gwen and more bout runty if i's going to keap bloggin, so i suppoas i must but not todai].

Der uvver photo shows me on my desk wot i share wiv my dad. I liek to rest hear when finkin bout wot to rite in der blog and wating four my tern on der puter. Der trubble is my hooman dad leavs lots of fings on der desk and i has to cleer dem out der way to get comfy - i meen whoos desc is it?!?!?!?!?. Sumtimes i is restin and he wonts der papers wot i is restin on and he trise to get me to move or to pull dem out from under me. i tell yoo dis i dont' liek it at all!!!!! and i fretten him wiv my clores and my teef and swear a bit and tell him i is cross and wo'nt moov. all so his glasses get in der wey wen he is tie pin and not warin dem, so i nock dem out der wey and sometiems dey go on der flaw and den he treds on dem and bends dem or brakes dem and he gets cross with me!!! he is cross with me when he brakes dem not me, i dont' no!!! its' ver ver rood!!!!!!!!! he also do'nt liek it when i has muddy paws and i mark his papers for him but i dont sea wy not cos if dey has my marc dey is mor important den and he offen makes marks all over dem. too be honest he shood get hisself anuvver desc and just leave me dis won wiv sum nice comfy papers spread on it. (Ackshirley he si ver good at strokin me wen i is on der desk - wot is mien mor dan his cos i is top cat !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? - cos i still like it).

yoo is arskin how is dis liek madona????? wel, she says dat she studies sum lode of old boot repairers (?cobblers) korled kabbalah but she kant reed a werd of it cos its in heebroo or sumfink liek dat but she just tuches der werds or sumfin and der meenin gose into her, so dats just liek me and der graudniad were i just sit on it and i understand it all -easy gose in froo my bottom!!!!!!