Thoughts of a Top Cat

Doo not bee afrayed of these fotose - it is a fearce killin masheen but it is ownly mee.

Well, in the maw noose thing my rite eye (or woz it my left aye) got ver narsty aggen. Now, too show wot I has lernd about spelling, sea, wen an aye is not good it is not saw but the spelling is soar, ok? just like if you have a bad paw the werd is not pawlee but pourly, ok??? Few, I think I got that rite. Well, my aye got ver soar aggen and i was tayken for an eemergencee appointment but Mr Uncle Josh woz not their but a laydee wot is corled Tray-see (a good name when yoo have an I problem). She thort my aye woz ver pourlee and she gave me oinkment, a noo won not Fuckidon, some maw auntie-biotics and a big injeckshon. That woz orl ok but then my mum and dad too times evry day woz sticking the tabloids down my mouth (they were ok and I wood have eeten them ennyweigh and sticking oinkment in my I, wot I got kwite cross about in the end.

I is tayking lots and lots and lots of ecksersize, as yoo can sea from the fotose, playing with corky one and corky one to. I is sorry if I has scared enny of yoo with thees fotose cos I no that yoo think i is a huntin fytin killin masheen, but luckilly my payrents keep mee well fed sew i is pritty gentle with it orl. my dad doo go to a man corled jim at fatness fast for ecksir-sighs but i has my territtorree to wotch, my corkys to play with and i is orlsow the family bodgometer, cos they can tell wot the whether is like cos i is so big and brave that i go out in it and then they can feel my coat and then they no how it is outside. sumtimes i need to check that it is the same in the frunt and the back but my payrents do'nt like me gowing in the frunt even tho it is part of my territtorree.

better get back to my big bed for a bit more wrest beefour the eevnings' werk.

Halo to orl my frends and wreaders and i is ver ver sorry that I has not bloged four such a long time!!! my goodness, do'nt time fly (wot ever that means, the payrents say it but how time can look like an inseckt i do'nt no) when yoo is bizzy. So, lots too rite and i will doo it in littel bitty bits. but as yoo can sea from the fotoes me n runty is just fine (and gwen, yuck yuck is fine two but she ai'nt gowing to bee in my blog, thank yoo very much!!).

Well, wear to start??? It is getting colde and but i still big and brave and go out in orl whethers and this is extreemly yousfull for the payrents cos they no wot the whether is like by fealing my feurrr - i is noan as the bodgometer. but thats' the life of a top cat innit, out i go in orl whethers to check up on the territtorree and orl that. runty, of coarse, is starting to piss in the hous aggen cos she do'nt like getting a chilly bottom. she woz going up the ver ver top corner of the guardin too get the larst of the sunshine but she has stopt dooing eeven that now!!

a weak arfter my larst blog the payrents went aweigh to a hoatell for a nite and left me in charj, natch. well, dad popped to the jim wot he doo and my mum whent for a swim but she slipt on the side of the pool - she is a bit clumsee, sea, ennyweigh, honnest and beeing a biped she dun forl over. we orl no about bipeds and forling over do'nt we, oskers' staff, eh? and braking the rist and orl that. and zo and the tree stump and orl that. not brilliant like me and never forling or slipiping cos i is a slim brillant cat. well, my mum dun hert herself and that eevening insted of a nice supper (tho not propper food like wot i eet) they woz with a Dr John Radcliffe Infermerree wear the peepel woz ver nice. their is no broken bones but a huge hee-mah-toe-mah (dunno wot that is).

well, my mum has bean off werk since then wot is ver ver nice altho breckfarst is bluddy laite these days. but the reel problem is that she is not sharing nicely my bed......our bed, i suppose. as yoo no when it is not ver worm outside i likes to sleap on my nice king size dubble bed wot i is happy to share nice with runty, but my mum has bin moast shellfish and is lying in the bed lots and lots and she doo not share it nicely. i thort it wood be nice too have her their and i doo get more strokes and orl that but she take up alot of spaice like wear i wont too sleap!!! i think she has taken a hint and is getting up maw now but wile i is simpathetic ect ect she needs to lern to share nicely like wot i duz, arfter orl it woz her wot woz orlweighs gowing on at me about sharing nicely and orl that.

i is keepin ver fit tho and is playing with corky-the-cork won and corky-the-cork won two......but more about that and my pour eyesey-piezzee next time.

top cat and most important blogger in the werld, biggles.