Tuesday, May 23, 2006


Gwenhweva - ugh!

Dis is gwenwoteverhernameis wot we corl gwenny. and do'nt say, oh int she kute!int she bootifull! int she petteet! cos i dont' liek her, ok? nor dus runty.
wy dus she liv hear? cos we woz al brort togevva from the home of mr Mayhew RSPCA when he was in der hospital and dey poot us togevver and der stoopid childern choas der femails and der cleva adults choase me!!!!!
for loads of yers she was a reel skaredy cat, allways runnin away and hidin and never talkin and all dat. and i chase her arowned sumtimes but when der adults sea me they tell me off and i run out froo der cat flap and stop on der uvver sied and dey c'ant katch me, tee hee.

gwenny yoojerly in der summer gose off sumwer i dont' no cos i do'nt alou her in der guardin, oh no!!! and sum tiems i chase her out. last yeer i woz chasin her and she ran behiend der shed and i neerly got stuck cos i has a bigger frame and not cos i's fat see!! and she got a way.

but sh'es got mussles oh yes, she is a pocket battleship and is bluddy strong, der hoomans wont' pick her up, im tellin yoo. and shes' der best mouser (wot i kud be if i wonted to be but i d'ont) and all at catchin aminals. in fack shes blu'ddy cunning. and ver silent. but recently she has been torkin mor to der hoomans and wonting strokes in der kitchin so she is mor of a pet, at last!!! and daneil choas her, huh.

oh and she is cunnin wiv runty. dey HATE each uvver and swear and swear at each uvver sumfin so shockin dat even i is shocked at there langwage - midget!! runt!! hate hate ect ect. she has downsters and runty has upsters and i hav everywer!!! but she can make runty ver miserable and she stopped runty yoosin der cat flap by just sittin ded stil by it on wun side or der uvver, now runty dont' ever yoos it unles shes' shuvd owt. and runty never ever purrs downstairs. and when gwen is feelin reely nasty she will just sit by der cat bowels or in der door wey to stopp runty gettin in and eating. so runty dont' liek downstairs. and sumtiems she gose into runtys' territorree upstairs and hied under der adults bed or go in der downstairs barfroom wear runty lieks to drink form der barf and fings. so its reely bad betwean dem. but gwen dont' never tork to me and she has never wonted to play wiv me so i do'nt. so shes not frends wiv either of us but her liefs pritty good cos shes got der food she lieks and she sleeps all over der playroom and yooses der cat flap and all, so shes not complanin. but I DO'NT LIEK HER!!!! OK!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? so now iv'e writen bout her. ok? i's been grone up. pfeh.

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