Thoughts of a Top Cat

Now dis is a ver good picksher of me kamooflarged in der jungle in my territory. Yu will have to luk ver ver hard to find me. Found me?
Yu sea wen yoo is hiden liek dis den yoo can keap an i on fings proper!
Dis foto was tacken at a secret locashun in my bak gardin wot i is gardin! Sea?
I shud tell you, alltho it is a seacret so dont tell anybodee, my teritory is not just my guardin but is next dors gardin on bofe sydes!! so, i go in the guarden were der 2 boyeez liv and i go to der uvver gardin wiv der flours and der pond and der frogs hoo sometimes cum into my gardin and den i can pla wun of my too favrit games - pat der frog. frogs don't moov wen neer me and if i pat der frog all gentle on der bak it jumps really realy hi and squorks! yoo can do dis lots of times and it dont hert dem and dey is ded good at goin ded stil.
my uvver fave games is catchin wite butterflys dat fly around der buddlier. i liek to play wiv dem for a bit an den i roles on my bak for dem to play wiv me an all dey do is flap around and not play - dis is ver borin of dem and ver shellfish. wot i doz is sleap under the bugglia and den i wakes up sometimes and catch dem.
wen i was littel i use to pla fight der painty brush wiv my dad. i wud be in a box and heid an he wud poke a painty brush froo der holes and i wud fite it it was lots an lots of fun but i dont play it now cos i cant be bovvered cos now i is growed up and is der top cat, see?
now dis is ver ver secret cos my humans dont liek it but really realy my teritorree is also der front garden (and der front guardins next doors). in der late afternoon in summer i luv to role on der parf in der frunt cos it is sooo warm and also der is annuver ginger cat wot has a ver large territoree at der front and he needs to no just were my territorree is!!!
(and dis is ver ver ver secreet, ok?!?!?!?!? sumtiems i run across der rode to der garden across der cos it is quiet a wilderness and ver excitin but my hoomans dont liek it cos dey say i is not clever enuff or fast enuff cos of short legs and i mite get hit by a car!!! pah, dey dont know nuffin!! dey dont unnerstand dat a top cat has to show hisself for wot he is - but pleeeese dont tel dem dat i rote dis bit or dey mite be cross with me).