Monday, May 15, 2006


replie to shayna freeman

ver ver nise to here form a cat.

i is shure yoo is ver ver butiful pershun cat and yoo may be top kat in your hous but dat dus not mean yoo is top cat in der hole wide world!!!! jus yoo cum up to my territory and you will see hoo is boss!!!! anyway, i doesnt need to be pedigree cos i is from the home of mr mayhew rspca of der ver ver speshul cats and on my insurance from DBI (Dogs Bollocks Innit) it says nex to value NIL, cos I is so invaluable dey cant put a price for me!!! and i is a British Short Hair!! not a forin import.

i cant invite yoo here for a visit cos der femails here wud get all huffy and sweary. but dats anuvver story.

my territorree is ver important to me. althou, and dis is a seecret, reely reely. every now an den a nasty tom cat or too comes into my territorree. dees cats is not nice wiv big heads and yowl horrid and spray an spray an if dey can cum in froo der cat flap an spray. dis is not nice!!!! now i cud fight dem hard but my dad says i jus dont have der balls for it but i dont know wot he means. it is espessall bad wen 2 of dem fite over MY teritoree. dis has not happend for a bit. der woz one tom wot had only wun frunt leg and he wud swear and thretten you and try and scratch yoo wiv his stump - he didnt last long but i felt a bit sorree for him wen he stuck to his own home.

my hooman dad told me dat hooman boys is just as bad, wen he wos at skool dey had a assemberley an der big teacher wiv der big head (corled der head teacher) sayd evryday to der boys - after der hims - let us spray!!!! honest! how der skool must have spelt - eeugh!!!!

tell me, do yoo sit on der bit of der paper dat yor hooman is reedin? i does, tee hee. dis is part of der eva lotionary process of selection. mind yoo, der graundian is smaller now cos its a berliner liek jfk said - i is a doe nut. but it is ver cumfterbal.

i do luv espeshly in winter to lie on my daddys desk wen he is workin an dry myself on his papers an clean my paws on dem. sumtimes i has to move his glasses an uvver bumpy fings and sum of der papers to get realy cumfy - clear der desk a bit - an i put my knows on der radiator. it is ver ver luvly. sumtimes my dad trys to moove me to get at papers and dis just will not do!!! and i swear and i will scratch him. der cheak!! i mean to say hoo runs dis place, eh?

oh yes, shayna, and my hooman says dat yor mum is a rabbit at der west london rabbit hutch reform school - rabbit for a mum and a dad - huh, rabbits - dis is two much! and my hooman is relly reely stoopid cos he sais rabbit means teecher in a forin language.

i wil rite anudder day about mr maywho and his home.

tiem for a nap

ear biggles
eye am shayna freemanz big siste, mai humenz kallz me yofi, I fink it meenz bootiful in forin langwidge or somefin
Anyways, I hav 2 chunkz outa my eers kos I laik 2 fait kats wot dont giv rispekt
So, if litttel shayna sayz she is top cat in the hole world, let her fink it, she is reeely a bimbo kat, never goes out nor nofing
PS I laiks 2 sit on paperz my humains iz reeding, speshly the times on a saterday, lots of pagees makes it comfi 4 my bum
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