Thoughts of a Top Cat

Hear is me on petrole in der long grass and also highdin in der kammooflarj in case anybody trys to come ontoo my territorree. I no its' scaree but do'nt wurry I wo'nt hert you!!

Wot I dont' understand is wot gardenin is all abowt. They wer at it the other weakend cleering lots of flourbeds of wot dey corl weeds - dey doo dis about wunce a year and say, oh dats' hard werk but dont' it look better ect ect. It just means a bit less shade for runty n me.
Also, and dis is a big big seecret and sho how stoopid hoomans is again. Dey dig up dee erff when dey is weadin and dey dont' do no pee or poo in it!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I meen wots' der point of diggin up der erff if you has'nt dun a pee or poo??????????? I meen if dey dig up der hoe guardin wheres goin' to be privet for der toilet?? Hoomans is a mistery to me dats' orl I can say. And dis reedin or weedin fing wakes me up and changes my territorree.
And der mail hooman cut orl of der long grass!!!! I mean, for goodness sake how is a top cat suppoased to protect his territtoree if he aint' got nowher for cammooflarj???? And day say its' good for der envirement to leave a bit of der grass long cos you get butterlfys and fings. SEa!!!!!!!