Thoughts of a Top Cat

sumtiems i liek to lie on my desck and wy not. my hooman dad cuvvers it in papers den gets cross cos i moove dem out der way too maick space for ME!!!!! or i moov his glassis onto der flaw and den he treds on dem, stoopid person!!! and den sumtiems wen i is havin a seeriuss seareeuss sleap or finkin wiv my eyes closed he wonts a paper from under mee!!!! der nerv!!! I tell you, i dont' let him get a way wiv dat, oh no!!! he get a bluddy gud skratch from me if he try and den he get bluddy cross wiv me back. dis is total non respeck for der top cat wot is hear all day protectin der hous and all.

den he mones bout my pours. specially wen its' wet and i marck his papers and he says bugger off thats' important!!!! and stoopid stuff liek dat. wen i is wet i always need to dry my pores and papers is almost as good as a lap cos dey has to sea how brave i is wen it cums to gettin wet and bein top cat and all. dese is my poures wen dey is nice and dry. yoo wont cleen pawes den dont; have a top cat ok???? sell-fish sell-fish sell-fish dats wot hoomans is?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? (cos i still liek it). it gose wiv der teritorree, sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!