Thoughts of a Top Cat

We cawl dis der Fool Hedgehog, cos i is full wet. Now yoo is probly arksin yoreself - how cums dis cat gets hisself reely realy wet too day's in a rowe? well, its' all to do wiv top cat trainin. der hoomans fink i is a twit and dat i has orlways lieked gettin wet. dats troo, i fink bein wet is funnnn!!!!!!!! cant' understand why loads of cats like runty hate it.

wen i woz a little kitten and dey woz runnin a barf for danl i jumpt in der barf as it was runnin and dey grabbed me out dead quick, but i was fine, it was nice reely havin der worter on my legs, woznt' a problem four me.

but der important point is its' all part of der trainin wot top cats gardin there guardin has to go throo. yoo sea, when i'ts' rainin yoo dont' no wots goin on on yore territtorree unless yoo is owt their checkin. and den der uvver cats fink, wow dat biggles must be so big and tuff too go out in der rein liek dat weed better wotch our step wiv him cos hes' a reel top cat and fings. dats wot i fink der uvver cats in der nay-ber-hood fink.

now hears' a seecrit. if i is'nt ver wet den i go and rub under bushes too maik myself wet or lye on der table on der pat-i-o just so dat i luks liek i has reel'y bin out der gettin all wet froo.

and gett'in wet is ver ver good for der appetite and i orlway's reeword myself with a nice eet of my hills' scien'ce crunchys, and if i can have a rub of a hoomans' leg and ideely a niece sit on der lap, ware dey go bugger off yoo wet beest, yoo is wet orl over ect ect dat ads too der plezzure.

yess, wet is good, wet is fun, yoo can sea me run and run.

dats' corld a poeme by der whey, der ferst won i has ritten for my blog and is for der maw intelleegent and intelleelady reeder.

bet yoo did'nt no i woz a poet two!! ho, yes, poete, gramarian, speler, filosoffer (wot ever dat is), ho yes, i is dem orl.