Thoughts of a Top Cat

Dus'nt tell nunbody, ok????????? Shhhhhhhhhhhhh. i has a seecret. i has a noo sleapin plaice. neck's doors' guardin is more jungly dan mien. mine was grate, lots' and lot's of it was jungly and was brillant for playin in and woz an hooge toile't. and den der hoomans sed oh it wood be nice to has more gardian wot we can yoos and orl dat so der is much less four fun and dey tuk away most of der toilet, and dey go ah, its' so much mo're luverly now int it deer, ect ect more plants blah blah. any whey, der woz a hooge pile of rubbish and stuff at der top wer i cud hide and fings and foxes lived - wot was ok, ackshirley, we got on fien. and my hooman dad got rid of most of it - borin borin borin - why he do dis i do'nt no, i wotched him, pointless. ennywhey, so i is sneekin round der gap in der fens at der top end and sleapin next daw, tee hee, cos dey got a grate big jungly bit like wot we yoosed to hav'e. my dad werked it out cos he got cross wiv me cos i woz takin longer to cum from der to help him hang out der woshin' and tryin so he wood not sea me cum round. but he spotted me cos' i get's a luvly sleap der and i is usooly staggerin round mostly asleapy. may bee he will fourget bout dis and it can still be my seecrit. also necks' door i do'nt fink dey realize dat dher guarden is also part of my territtorree, cos i is ecks-pandin. may-bee he acksherly old enuff to hang out der woshin wiv out needin my proteckshun, no on second forts, acksherley, i better stay on gar'd.