Thoughts of a Top Cat

All write i is not der ownly ca't to sit on hoomans, okay!?!?!?!?!?!?!? i ree'ly do'n't' sea wy i has to shair my blog!!! its' mine and nunbodie elsies, ok? cor, der fings yoo has too doo cos of hoomans naggin. ok, i is ver ver happie to shair my blog wonce again wiv der bleedin runt. der runt is a luverly cat and has more furr at der moment dan she yoost to hav and has no bald'y bits' at der moment even tho she molts der hole yeer round. me runty is gud frends and spend lots of tiem togevver or neer each uvver, spesherl'y in summer. sea wot a nice cat i is!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? ugh.

hear are pickshers of runty sittin on her mummies' lap between her dadd'y's legs (nasty) and on a laver tory seat. why dus she sit on lavertory seats and on lorndree baskets full of smelly cloves?? well, cos shes' like dat. in fackt she offen sits on a lavatory seet cos sh'es' weightin for some won to give her a drink from a tap cos shes' so bonker's bout not drinckin from boles. she dus luv a good lavatory seat - wee has to keep der lavatory seat's down or else yoo find her not-so-baldy arse stickin out der bowls' wile she has a drink!!!! dis gustin!!!!!!!!!!!

der main fin bout laps and runty is up stare's. cos she is der up star'es cat she gets desprate to sit on her mummys' lap when she is hear or her daddy up staires and dis can sum times bee quiet la'te at night bee four she gets her evenin affeck shun wot she luvs and knea'ds despratelee. den sumtiems she dont' wont to be just on der lap but she sit rite up bye yore face and purr into it and put her rite frunt pour in yore kneck wiv der clause out just enuff so yoo cant' moove. strainje animal.

yoo no, if she did'nt' arg-you wiv gwen so much she cud have fectshun down stares like we dus but she dus'nt' purr down stares cept i der front room wot is not gwens' territtorree.

bye der way. I hope yoo is impresst wiv my yoos of der propostroffee!!! i is gettin' too bee a real ex'per't bye followin der rools as i sea dem from der fot'os in dis blog'.