Thoughts of a Top Cat

HOO der bluddy hell is diss on my chare!!!!!!!!! eh!!! bluddy cheak!! yeah, I walks into der room and find der bluddy runt on my chair, havin a barf and tryin to bite her tale off as yoojul. dis is not rite. its' not her chare i'ts mine, right!!!! and anyway she do'nt liek der playroom and never sleep in der and is orlways upstares. so wot she bleedin doin on my chair. and i cums in and i looks at her and doo she moov?? doo she?? no she bluddy do'nt!!!!!!!! she finishes tryin too kill her tale, barfs sum maw and den has a ver ver long sleap.

well, i do'nt like dat and I wont' count it as my chare no more if sh'es goin too yoos it. it dont' smell rite nyther. i is cross and will sleap on a hoomans lap for a bit and sleep on a settee or sumfink. she did'nt even arsk. i is top cat and i get to choose dese fings and i choosed dat chare!! hurrumfffff. hmm. i is cross. hmm....maybe i can find gwenny and bite her or sumfink or maybe il'l have a bite to eat and den have a nice little sleep and fink about it. cross, i is!! so wotch it, ok!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?