Thoughts of a Top Cat

Der uvver nite there wer terrible bangs for about too or 3 nites and it woz horrible horrible. It was just as bad in the frunt room and upstares and everyware. I hid in der end behind my daddys' desk. Sum won sed it woz four a hindu festival corled Dear Wally. But why celebrate with terrible terrible bangs??????????? They may be narsty for hoomans but dey is much much werse for cats cos our here-ing is so much better than yours so it herts us much more. And runty wont go out to pea and duz it in der horl.

Now I has been told their will be lots and lots and lots more bangs cummin up starting ver ver soon cos of sum body corled Guy Forks or Spoons or sumfink; sum fink too do wiv burning a kaffer lick. I dunno but its' horrible and it makes me and der uvver cats ver ver frightened and miserable, and we all try to hyde sum ware safe.

Please stop these bangs and fings cos dey is horrible for all cats and dogs and even more yoosless animals.