Thoughts of a Top Cat

Oh yes, this is MY CHAIR!!!!!! and i will tell yoo orl about it!!! Hooray!!!!!!!!

Well, dis chare yoosed to live with Daniel wen he was a student of human vet stuff and he did'nt liek it and wonted to chuck it out. Oh no says my hooman parents we liek dis chare and we will have it. So dey brort it home and it lived in the frunt room. Now I is not aloud in der frunt room all der time cos of wen runty woz pissin and all dat so der dor is still kept shut most of the time wot is not fare cos i never dun nuthin rong etc etc etc. anyway so i di'dnt' get too sleep on my chair ver offen. der chare den went!! disappeard and woz not der. dey took it up stares cos der setteas had not arrived for der flat upstares wot has bin dun up so dey lent dem MY chare with out arskin me!!!!!!!! cheek of der hoomans.

well, wen der chare cum down dey put it in der playroom wot shud reely be corled my bedroom and its' brillant. as soon as it arrived i lept on wiv dat affletisism (difficult werd - i fink dats' rite) for wot i is famus and slept on it and maid shure dat it smelt of me. tee hee. and dat has kept der uvver cats off it, so its mine mine mine!!!!!!! and i can yoos it wen i like. i can barff on it. i can sleep on it. i can leave it for a bit ect ect ect. der hoomans is grumblin cos its' cuvvered in my furr but i do'nt care cos its mine mine mine. my chair and luvly wiv it. hooray and sucks to der uvver cats.!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? (cos i still liek it)>