Thoughts of a Top Cat

Excuse me, this is Tosca Runty-Poo Nu-Nu here. I am most terribly sorry to intrude upon this bloggy thing of Bodger's but I am most concerned that my mummy who came home has gone again!!! Have any of you seen her?

You see she came home and it was lovely to have her at home and to be my proper mummy again and I didn't get in the way on her bed, honest, I shared very very nicely and didn't interrupt her if she was busy with her computer thingy.

And then that Mr Alastair came (totally unnecessary, in my opinion) and then I had to share the room and bed with both of them, which was not as nice. But I am a tolerant cat and most understanding and I tried to help Mr Alastair when he wasn't playing with his white box thingy with the apple on the lid (which wasn't very often) and he was perfectly cordial to me and I was to him.

Biggles says she left because she was too upset that she is still below him in the pecking order. But I learnt a long time ago not to believe everything Biggles says even though he is not totally stupid. (Pause - bugger, tail!!! Bite!!! Kill!!!! Need a drink, a drink now, from a tap, now now now!!!!!!!!!! Piss must piss oh oh oh oh). Sorry about that. Now where was I?

Ah, yes. I am also very worried about my mummy. You see these photos? Well, I am not quite sure what is going on here but from the nature programmes I have watched presented by that charming Mr Attenborough, I would not be at all surprised if this is the way humans make babies!!!!!!!! Well, we will have to wait and see if my mummy has a litter of kittens or not.

If you see her, I miss her still.....well, I think I do but I can't really remember any more.

And as for pissing in the house behind the front door, I just don't have the fur for going out in winter and sometimes I just can't make it out of the hole in the Utility Room window - especially if the midget is around. Yuk yuk. [Tail.........kill.......kill........carefull!!!! quiet now........bite hard!!!! ow!!!!!!!!! bastard thing, hurt me will you!!!!!!!!! Revenge will be mine!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, sorry, what was I say????? Oh, dear, completely forgotten. Yes, yes, my mummy. If you see her tell her I miss her, I think, and that I want her home soon, I think.

Thank you.

PS Please don't tell Biggles I used the computer when he was asleep.