Thoughts of a Top Cat

Now, I is no egg-spurt on how yoo make babys. I no dat cat babies, noan as kittens cum from Mr Mayhew-Home RSPCA, like wot I doo and runty and gwen the miggit. but i is not shaw how hoomans doo it.

I has woched lots of animal programs with david attinburger, and dey is ver interesting. and in dem they show der animals mating - mating is the ostralian werd for yore ver close frend - on der cricket dey is orlways saying too each uther, mate, even tho it is men with men - puzzling, but den dey is havin summer now!!!! How cum? ennyway, mating babies is wot is dun in lots of diffrent waysin mr attenbergers' films, so dats why i has put up dese pickshers.

at chrissmass we had zo and allstairs, and danl and rosies staying, and they woz doin dis fing too each uvver lots, ver strainje. no babys has cum yet wot is strainj but i is weighting. if they have a litter i will let yoo know and how menny they will keep and how menny they will give away. or maybee i is rong. dunno. i dus not make babys and dus'nt need dem nor dus runty n gwen. i is two bizzy ennyway wiv all my jobs and stuff.