Monday, February 12, 2007


Hello Cats!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hoo hoo, hello cats out their!!!! its' been grate to here from yoo orl!!! I is very very egg-sited to get news from uther cats about my blog and too wont to chat with me. I am sorry if sum of yoo find it difficult to reed my blog, i ca'nt see why, orl I do is try too spell werds the way thay sound. I have notisd that sum werds can be spelt maw than won whey and I do get a bit muddled then so I try to werk them out best as I can. Spelling is ver ver hard for me but I do my best onest. As to the yoos of the appropostrotoffee thingy, I try to reed the whey it is yoosed but as my blog shose its' all a bit bonkers.

der picksher is ov der poo tray wot my dad dun for runty. she yoosed it der day she cum back from der vet and in der next mourning but now she prefurrs to go owt again altho she bluddy haits it. shes' bonkers.

Hello Oscar!!!! Ver nice to here from yoo agen and from Molly two!! Yore sister. And she went out in the snow like wot I dun. I did'nt try to catch sno flakes cos I is to groan up for that and ennyway I is still playing with corky the cork lots and lots. Molly souwnds nice, not like the miggit gwen wot i has to be nice too. yuk!

I is impressed that your hooman can clame for wee wee problems on der insurance, Runtys' insurance form sez that orl her pre-existing condishons are exluded wot ever that meens. I think it meens that her legs and ears and tale (cos they do'nt no just how much she bites it and just how scabby and yukky it is) are cuvvered but just about nuffink else is, so dad gives the lady at joshs' his bit of plastic and she puts in numbers then dad puts in numbers and looks a bit glum, then she givs him a peace of paper and then thay cum home.

I has still not found west yorkshire on my tube map where is it? I no my big bruvver is living with archie kitten near Dartmouth and I no wear that is cos if I go to the edge of my territtorree out frunt (wot is norty) I can see Dartmouth Rowed on der corner so Danl and Rosies and archie must be near their.

hallo shaddow!!!

I looked for Canada on my map and I found Canada Warf in der east end of Lunden, is that wear yoo liv, cos thats' a long long whey from hear? rite outside my territtorree. I wood'nt wont to work all that way, my pours wood get very saw and its' two far four me to petrole. My dad sez he wunce went to canada a long long long time ago - a mr nixon woz having his impeachment or sum froot like that then, and it woz very big and ver bootiful. my mum says that wunce on the internet she found her granddads' lost bruvvers family in canada and now she has lots and lots and lots of cuzzins in canada to go and sea wun day. so i expect i cant sea canada even if i run across the rode (wot I only doo wen nobodee is looking -shhh). how cum yoo dont' go out? is it even coalder than hear?? im shure that if i lived in canadia i wood be big and tuff and go out in the sno even if it tuched my tummy!!! ho yes.

Its' coald in the house hear. my parents whent away and left me in charge just for wun nite but the boiler has stopped werking. this is corled central heating but ackshirley it gose orl over the house and not just in the center, silly name. enny way the metal thingies in the rooms get hot and its' nice. well, they ah orl colde and the house is coald and their is just the odd fire hear and their, wot i dont' like. my dad sez he cant' find the place to make the sparky to try to relite der boiler so we have to weight four pat and pats hert his back bad so maybee can cum two morrow. i hope sew cos it is a bit chilly. lucky i got ver ver good fur and am very tuff and strong.

Wears Canada?

enny weigh nice to here from yoo orl!!!

Hi Biggles
I am a cat in love.
I have got a girlfriend-her name is Lola and there is a picture of her on my blog.
I really am a Top Cat now!
Hope you are well.
Hi Biggles
What makes you cross? I have put a list of 10 things and some more things that make me cross on my blog. I am feeling a little disgruntled this evening because I am tired and they keep on picking me up and inspecting my beauty.
Hello Biggles. Paddy here again. I was most upset that you said hello to all of the other cats except me. Is it because I am gay?
Hi Biggles. Answers to your questions in a minute - but first of all, have taken your advice about doing toilet things outside. It was really fun because I did it on someone's front door mat! I might have to do that again.
First of all-what is a Staff? Well my Staff is owned by me- I didn't buy her, I chose to go and live with her because she likes cats. I call her Staff because she is sort of employed by me. I say sort of because I don't pay her. She is expected to tend to my every need and to anticipate what I want before I even want it. Sometimes she is very good at this. Sometimes she needs more training. I suppose she is a bit like those people you see on the history thing on sky called serfs and slaves. I would call her a Ser-Vant but that is a bit long so I use Staff instead. She has Staff at work but I don't think they feed her nice Whiskers food like she does me so i guess I am quite lucky really!
She goes to the University in the yellow thing that I tried to drive. Going there makes her quite cross sometimes (there is someone working there called Mynd-Less-Bure-Rock-Ra-Sea). She is a Prin-Sipp-All Lecturer, whatever that means, and does things to do with murder, burglary, prisons and bad things like that. She did do some of that research stuff and is sposed to be writing a book about crime but its not very good. I write much better than her. She spends a few hours a week shouting at things called Stew-Dents. I had stew once-it was nice but I wasn't supposed to eat it and I got into trouble.
What kind of university things do your mum and dad do?

p.s. if you do want to buy a Staff you might want to try ebay. i hear that this is very good. i have applied for a credit card (using Staff's name which was clever of me because I was having problems with the photo identification bit as I do not yet have a passport or driving licence) I am going to buy lots of things from ebay.
you are such a lovely big fat pussy cat! A great big cuddly fluffy snuffly ginger puddy! I hope I grow up nice and plump and ginger. At the moment I am very small. I am sorry I was rude to you on Oscar's website. I get a little jealous.
Thank you for the message Biggles. Yes, if you wish you may call me Gay as an alternative name. By he way, do you have any phobias?
Hello Biggles!
I am really a very famous top cat now as there is a TV programme named after me.
Hope you are well
Hi Biggles
Am I allowed to put a picture of you on my website - I am putting together a friends page?
Let me know
Dr Oscar
Hi Biggles-thanks for your comment and good to hear from you.
I am very jealous that you have books named after you- Staff said that the fiterpilot Biggles wore a funny hat. Do you wear one when you are safeguarding your territory?

My Staff always laughs at stew-dent spellers as well. lots of them write like on a text message. and she says that it wasn't like that in her day whatever that means. she also says that the stew-dents make her feel really old (she's not that ancient-only 30something). sometimes they come into university in the winter not wearing very many clothes and their legs are blue. and they complain that they couldn't park and thats why they are 45 minutes late to a lecture. she says she has not got patience with them anymore. and she is usually quite patient with me at home! she is looking for a job as a head. i don't know whose head she wants to be and what she will do with her head and what colour hair it will have (she changes hers all the time though which is a bit confusing)
thats good that your mum got a MA with merit. I don't know what that is either. think staff has got a MA thing too-must be a woman thing? she sometimes mutters about a pee-aych-dee but says it would probably be easier to buy one on the internet (i like the idea of buying things off sky but am having a problem with photo id in getting a credit card).
I don't know what balls are either. I don't think I have got any. according to staff there are lots of balls ups and bollox-things in universities along with that mynd-less-byoo-rock-racy person as well. what is a deenery? Staff has mentioned a deen before but i don't know what he did. i don't think she did either. sometimes don't think she knows much about her work. its sad about your dad's teacher. lots of professorpeople have died at Staff's university recently-one who did construction stuff like staff's brother and another one who did lots of aids things. its very sad. i don't know anyone wot died except a cat that i kind of liked who lived next door who was a black and white cat but much much smaller than me!
need to go and see if it has stopped wind-ing now so i can go for an inspection of the neighbourhood.
bye for now.
Hi Biggles, it's me Shadow. While my mom and the boy were out working in the yard yesterday, I played on the puter. I was trying to find out where Canada is. How do you like water? If you like it, you would make it to Canada okay. There is lots and lots of water between Canada and England. My dad told me there was but I didn't believe him. My dad's from England( Northumberland), so I guess I should have just listened to him.

Why don't I go out? Because my mom won't let me that's why! She says its too dangerous with the busy road near by and we have lots of windows so why would I want to go out anyway? I showed her though, the kids left the door open last night and I ran out the door, up the stairs and was half way down the pathway before they caught me. The boy tried to tell me I was bad, so I gave him a big scratch... that will teach him!

Canada is very warm(this week). My mom went out to the yard with pale white skin yesterday and came in with red skin... very weird how that happened. I wouldn't want to be red, so maybe being inside isn't so bad after all.

Tell your dad, that where I live they don't speak French(much). Where we live they speak German? and have lots of people who drive horse and buggies( they sometimes come to the bible college across the street). I like the horses, they look like they would make a really good meal. The chicken dog on the other hand, hides behind me and Leo.....stupid dog.

My mom went to England, she said it was too cold for her(?), that confuses me because everyone keeps telling me how cold it is in Canada. My was at the North Sea and she said the breeze coming off the sea was way to cold but she loves all the greens in the fields. I think she means the colours and not the food she makes us eat. She also had a really hard time understanding what people were saying... Dad says they were making it even harder on her because it was funny. Something about "thick geordie".

Your writing doesn't sound like my dad, do you speak Geordie?

Your friends

Shadow, Leo and the chicken dog
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