Tuesday, March 27, 2007


Fings like wot I duz not liek

My frend osker woz rightin bout wot he duz not like and I thort it wood be a good idea if i rote wot i duz not like.

1. Loud bangs. I hates dese and they is particular bad not just at Guide Forks but now also at Deer Wally and Eat or Eden fing. They is terrible and loud and flashy things two!! Wot four? we orl hate this.

2. I duz not like being picked up wen I is out der frunt petrolling my territtorree and beeing told I is not clever enuff or farst enuff to go out frunt. It is ver hoomiliating to be picked up and taken in like that in public, speshly if yoove gon out to gard der shoppin from der supermarket.

2. I duz not liek being shut out of rooms ware I wont to sit or sleep. Dis was ver bad wen runty was ver miserble and peaing orl over the place and makin der nice frunt room pong sumthing orfull cos it woz my faverit room at der time. Now she is ok we can yoos it agen but not orl der time and yoo hav to wotch gwen sneeking inn.

2. sum times in the eevnin i feel like sleepin on won of my beds up stares and then I get carried down stares!!! Now this is not rite at orl, they is my beds and I shood be left to sleap ware I wonts. I get ver cross at this and yoos ver bad langwage.

2. (Sea, I can count!!). Sum times I follow my mum and dad and go flollop on my side cos I needs a stroke or 2 or lots and they do'nt give me orl the stroaks wot I nead!!

2. I duz not liek it wen my payrents go out for two long and I is left in charge. They think I stumble down der stares wen they get back cos I has bean sleaping but in fact I get ver ver tired and just nead to shut my I's for a few seconds, not even a cat nap.

2. Sum times they go away on a holliday and leave me in charge for a ver ver long time. This is not fare. Grotty nigel yoost to feed us and he woz a bit horrid and did'nt like us much and didnt' mop up runtys' peas. Now Mimi cums and she is ver ver nice but she do'nt stay long eenuff. Of corse I duznt' get lonely, oh no, top cats duzznt' but its' ver hard beein in charge of der house and der guardin and orl.

2. When der payrents go away on a holiday fing (and I duz'nt no why they duz it) they shut lots of daws and we ca'nt go in the kitch-in or our bedrooms. This is cos of wen runty was pissin bad and she wood fill der hob wiv her pea and pea on der wooden bred bins wot is not nice at orl. I never ever ever do ennyfing like this but still I is shut out two!! Its' not fare!!!!

2. I duz not liek gwen. thats it no maw too say on der subjict. yuk yuk. bleedin dworf!! and less of der oh ai'nt she bootifull etc ect. If fackt why we have feemails at orl? they is pritty pointless reely.

2. i duz not like tom cats. these is like me but they make an orfull pong wen they s-pray and they argue over wot is my territtorree!!!! but they just seem to have sumthing i do'nt but i is not shure wot it is. four-tune-ate-ly this has not happend in a long time.

2. i duz not like the food at the bottom of the hills science bag cos it gets grotty and i do'nt like it. if i wont to eat food cuvvered in dust then i wood!! ok?

2. i duz not like it wen my bole (well they is orl my boles reely) get neerly empty.

2. i duz not like gowin in the car to sea mr josh eeven tho he is nice with it.

2. in der spring wen der daffidills is out like now der grarss begins to groe. dis is good cos then i can play huntin games in it and hide better wen on petrole and then my dad gose and cuts it orl. wot four? he oanlee moans cos hese the oanly wun wot cuts it, so why bother and let me keep my cuvver in the guardin when on petrole.

2. i think that is orl. i am shure their is maw but i ca'nt think of them now and I needs to sleap.

Hi Biggles. Well the Staff went to the Chef-Field Gordon Ramsay place today. And now she is using the same rude words that Gordan Ramsey uses on his programme on the sky so I think she learnt something.
There is more mynd-less-byoo-rock-racy there and apparently lots of people who ask questions that are "ir-rel-evant". and she said next time she has a day off from work she is going to go shopping instead. So I am not sure whether things went well. She is drinking wine now so will probably be in a more conversational mood later
I liked your list. I will add to mine later!
Bye for now, your friend Oscar
Hi, me again.
Staff is not going to be a Chef in a Field Head. Apparently no one who was interviewed for head things is going to do it and if she wants to be a head she has to make something called 'i contact'.
I don't understand!
Hello Biggles, Paddy #Gay here. I agree with you about the dislikes you mentioned relating to the hills science plan at the bottom of the bag. I think it is yuck too! I have been in a massive strop this week, mummy says I am hormonal because I am a girl and premenstrual whatever that is. Basically I have been aloof and grumpy whenever I have seen mummy this week. I will tell you a secret about why……it is because she is not feeding me nice soft meaty food anymore and we are back on the hills boring stuff again!

Girls are silly and stupid and they make us suffer, Lola used to piss on the old sofa mummy had, it was leather and really smelled. I also used to like to scratch it with my claws. Mummy got really angry one day because she said it made the house smell disgusting, she put it on the driveway for the dust people to take away, but a weird special needs woman came and asked if she could have it. I bet her house smells of pee now!!

Your friend mardy grump Paddy Gay
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