Monday, May 07, 2007


I woz left in charj agen

this is a picksher of me on gard dootee - but yoo do not need to be fry-tend cos its' only a picksher.

Ho hum, der payrents went away agen but only for won nite. I tell when this is happening cos they get out der suit cases. If yoo is wundering wot a suitcase is I will tell you: it is quite a big case, it can be small big, meedium big or big big. It is corled a suit case cos it is the case that suits yoo for that hol. So, for egg-sample, my dad climes up to der cubbord wear der suit cases is kept and he arsks my mum wot case she wonts and when he gets it down, she say; "yes, that case suits me". Sea? Just thort I had better eggs-plane. Sumwun sed its' a case wot yoo put a suit in but thats' stoopid cos a suit is small and thin and only needs a little bag. Sum peeple is just plane ingorant.

Enny way, these woz not big cases like when they went to see the lady corled Florence (or Frenzy in Florenc'es language) by boat (remember, my mum kept saying do'nt forget you rows, and he sed I no - but they come back in sumthing corled a plain, but a plain wot I do'nt no cos the peeple in a place corled Meridiana left their suit cases - sea, remember wot it means - behind and they did not cum four three days!!! and they woz cross. they left orl the peeple on the plain thing and took off orl there cases - enny weigh thats' not wot i is wrighting about today).

So enny way, this time the popped off for a little bit for a sandwich wot is near kenterberry or kent for short, to stay with the deemons. I went out frunt and sore them leave. the thing is it is reely hard werk being in charj of the hole hous as well as the guardin. And runty orlweighs gets upset and doo a pea wot do not smell nice; she doo it behind the frunt daw so they smell it wen they cum back strait a weigh. I tell her not too cos the pong aint' nice but she do'nt lissen cos she get sooooo cross that she hav to drink from boles whot she dont' like, she only like der tap for a drink. gwen just keep quiet thank goodness and i has too doo orl the werk. they leave us with food and worter and thats' ok, alltho i have to keap an I on it, to make shure the gerls do'nt gobble it orl up in wun go, thats' why i is at the boles such alot.

then when they cum home i has to sit on them bothe and follow them arround so that they can stroke me lots and lots just to reashure them that everything is orl rite. and runty need to sit on my dad and gwenny need stroaking two. but i duz not need it cos i has mist them, oh no not at all, it is cos they has missed ME, sea? and they need to stroke me lots so that they feel orl wright at home again, and I sits on them and things just to calm them and orl that, and go flollop on the floor or carpit lots so that they can stroke me and sea my luvly tummy.

i think sum of yoo think that like i get loanly when they go aweigh even just wun nite, well i do'nt, ok!!!!!! it'snot true, us top cats duz not get loanly and fry-tend at orl. i just do'nt like having to gard so much territtorree orl on my own cos normaly i let share der gardin of der hous wiv der hoomans and I do orl of der guardin. its' tye-ring having so much responstability and havin too bee in charge orl der time that i can hardlee get a wink of sleap. enny weigh, they cum back wot is orl that matters.

Hello Biggles, how are you?

I see that your parents went away for a night for a sandwich and used the suitcase but not for putting suits in? My mummy used to live in a place called Kent before I was born. She told me that there is a place called ham which is near to the sandwich, is that right? I like ham very much, but get very cross if I have to share it with Lola and Pixie.

well, my mummy also went away too to a place called Bristle which has a lot of water nearby. She went for a long time though, five nights which I didn’t like. She got back today and I have been sulking with her for leaving us. I did see other mummy though as she came to feed us and stayed with us for a couple of nights.

I do have lots of mummys well, two and I will tell you about how that happened. My mummy used to live in the Kent place as I said. She moved to the Yorkshire place to get a new job and her friend, my other mummy already lived there. So while my mummy was as she puts it, finding her feet (don’t know where she lost them) she stayed at other mummy’s house in Yuckifield. They studied law together at university, but my mummy isn’t a lawyer or a teacher like other mummy, she is a probationist! A week after my mummy arrived in Yorkshire it was her birthday and she told other mummy that she had always wanted a kitten. Other mummy went looking and saw me in the pet shop in a glass cage. There were my brothers and sisters, all grey and catlike and then there was me, sitting in the corner, rolling in my sister’s wee. It was love at first sight for both of us! So she collected me from the shop and took me home for mummy’s birthday and we all lived in Yuckifield for six months. Then Oscar came along and mummy and I moved to the village place where we now live.

So I have my real proper mummy who I live with and other mummy who now lives around the corner and visits me lots.
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