Thoughts of a Top Cat

Wich picksher is anuther ded mouse wot gwenny has popped on the patio and witch picksher is a compleet runt sun bathing on the guardin table??? Ha! ha! ha! (Hear is a kloo: won of dem has flabby bits and not enuff feur).

Is der mous on der left (or is that rite) or on der rite (is that left)? Is der runt on der write (or is that left?) or on der left (or is that wright?)?

eek, my dad hav scene this and he say it in ver bad taste and I shood not poast it. I say how can he tell cos he has not tasted der mouse or runty? he sez that orltho runty is bonkers there is no maliss in her and she is sweet, well their is no maliss in me either only hills sigh-ens. and this is MY blog not his!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? but i got to be cairfull with him at the moment cos he all cross and grumbly agen cos he ca'nt wotch der crickets on der telly cos you can only sea them in the Sky and he wo'nt pay rupert murder-ch to look at the sky!!!!! (bonkers; it do'nt cost nuffink to look at der sky and their ai'nt no crickits their but yoo dont' argyou with him bout this thing - i thort it was summer madness but larst winter he woz reely reely cross cos he coo'dnt wotch der crickits' ashes cos of der sky - it orl yere madness burning crickets sew yoo can look at the ashes! but then he gettin old and der minde am gowing. eek - hope he do'nt reed this)