Thoughts of a Top Cat

This is a very kwick kwizz four yoo. Are these pickshers of a fry-ten-ing lion in der jungle like wot yoo sea in der telly progroms of David Attenberger or is it a ver fry-ten-ing, tuff and brave cat on petrole in der long jungly grass of his terittorree beeing brilliant at der camyooflarj??? Now, I is giving no cloos at orl this time but I wood be scared if I did'nt no it was me.....or, dam, do'nt reed that bit.

Acksherley having a top cat is ver ver yoosfull. Sum ver nice naybores (thats' like peeple wot live ver near to us, sort of on the edge of my territtorree) has been bergled too times in the last few months and necks door too them to - my dad helped alot the ferst time. Burgling is ver horrid, it is when peeple brake yore home to clime in and take yore things. My mum and dad sez they woz bergled several times and moor than once quite a long time ago but has not been burgled since they got me wot is hardly surprising cos probly the berglars has seen me in der guardin and think ooh we had better not try to brake in their cos there is a pritty frytening top cat on gard!!!!! My dad say; correlation does not indicate causation to witch i sed; quod est demonstrandum, and he went off in a huff beefour I cood arsk him wot it ment. nuff sed.