Tuesday, May 15, 2007


a very sad story and troo

my dad met a naybore wot i do'nt know cos she lives the uther side of the Big Road wot i never go near cos rex (wrecks?) wot lived beefour me once got ver ver lost (he woz ortistic) and long way from der house and der territtorree and woz lost for weaks and weaks and weaks and den woz found and brort home and ate 3 suppers!!! and never went far aweigh again.

well, my dad met this laidy wot had 3 cats like us; 2 wot she got and woz there mum and 1 wot cum to them and took them on as staff and lived with them. and she told my dad that orl 3 of her cats had dide in the last few munths, and mr uncle josh our vet could not save them, and now she has no cats and now she is sad. she wunders if it woz a vye-russ. i do'nt know wot a vye-russ is but i shall be extra alert on petrole - even when my eyes is a bit closed - so we duz not get no vye-russes in my house!!!!

my dad sed too the ladee that she shood go and ask mr mayhew-home rspca for sum noo cats and she sed she do'nt wont old, maingee cats but wonts kittens. my dad sed that yoo can get kittens from mr mayhew-home like wot wee woz. i think she shood cum round and meet me for a chat bout this and sea how brilliant i is, and also sea just how bootiful gwen is (yuk yuk) but i think we have to keep runty hiden cos she is such a runt even if i quite like her.

but wee is all very sad hear for this lady joodee and her husband val, and for der cats wot is no longer with us, of corse.

that is a very sad story i hope the mr mayhew house has some more cats for her. apparently kittens are very sweet (so i have been told but i never found molly or denny particularly sweet!) but lots of cats my kind of age (i am nearly three in july) need good homes too cos no one wants them cos they are older. my staff's parents got a cat when he was three (like I nearly am in july) and he sat up the chimney for three days but now is very happy. he is a purr-shan and is grey with a funny looking face. Staff's parents and brother think we look funny cos we have pointy faces but i think that is how cats and pandas should look.
staff says that she wasnt joking bout the spider girl wanting mitigation for being frightenedin the exam. she has seen worse. apparently one student couldnt go to an exam because she had bought shoes a size too small and got an infection in her toes and couldnt walk. another one was traumatised cos she saw someone being eaten by a crock-er-dile on holiday. another one couldnt write her essays cos her ray-dee-ate-or was dripping and distracting her. staff says it wasnt like that in her day even if you were dead you had to do your exams or you would fail. i think she is a bit twitter and bisted or is that bitter and twisted.
by the way Denny told me to tell you that he has found Corky-der-Corks brother. he is currently hunting it behind the television and staff is looking worried cos it is a very big television(40inch) and she doesnt want it to fall over like we made the chest of drawers do last week (that was funny-it was in the middle of the night and me and denny had a fight behind it and it tipped over and a glass of coke poured all over staff's head!)
hi Biggles
Oscar is in a sulk because you said he was young (I agree but he is not as young as me- I am 2 or Dennis- he is 11 months) and as I am the internet expert, thought I would tell you how to put links on (I manage the web side of things for Oscar- he is no good at multi-tasking) - presume you mean weblinks to other sites. well if you log in and go to the Template section, you should see a box called add page elements. down the bottom of that is an add links bit. it is quite easy. hope it works.
Staff has stopped sitting in exams and making her staff do bog patrol and now she is moaning about something called marking. i think this has something to do with lots of boxes that are appearing in our house with paper in. i have been marking them myself cos i did a little wee in one of them. i thought that might help broken wristed staff if i marked some for her but she was a bit cross (she laughed though when she thought i wasnt looking and said that shit might have been more appropriate given the contents-dont understand what she meant!)
anyway have a nice day
hi biggles
tell your dad that if he emails my Staff (can get email via website where she works) she will explain how to do the linky things.
Oscar is in a better mood today but is currently asleep due to having half an hour awake in the night. he is a lazy boy.
Dear Biggles,

Thank you for your wise words. I will try not to go too far outside my territory, but the smell coming from the chip shop were so nice I just had to explore them! As for the hills science plan not giving us smelly bottoms, I’m not sure about that. You may remember a while ago I wrote about Lola’s bottom problems, mummy said it was her anal glands, I put a diagram on the blog to explain. Well, mummy thought the problem had returned but things seem to have sorted themselves out now. Lola is less pungent!

Mummy has been indulging in the wine a bit this week. She didn’t have a crap interview but had a few crappy days at work with lots of her naughty people being even more naughty and causing problems. She said something about them needing certain parts of their body removed and being locked up and keys being lost. I don’t understand but she was cross anyway! I understand too that probation is people being reintegrated into the community, but mummy says it is all a load of balls a lot of the time because they all keep being naughty and getting into more trouble so she is banging her head against a brick wall. She said she just wants to open a cattery at least the cats would be nice to her and not cause problems!

A close is like a three sided road with only one entrance so there is only one way in and one way out. This means that cars don’t race around the road and me and my sisters don’t risk getting run over. I actually live in what is called a court, but that is confusing because I thought court was where naughty people go and get sent to prison!

I hope you have managed to sort out posting links on your site, it would be nice if you could put a link to my site on there too.

Your friend Paddy
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