Thoughts of a Top Cat

Now as yoo no i is a pritty broad minded sort of cat but my dad dun scene this and i thort yoo shood sea it two cos i simply do'nt understand hooman beans at orl. (wye is this orl typing underlined????) now, my dad doo ride a bike lots and luv his bike but he orlweighs ware cothes even in summer when it is luverly and hot.

i has never scene soo menny peepel in der nuddy and i tell yoo it make me glad too bea a cat. hoomans is sad wen nuddy reely. they just has no furr just a bit on the hed (moast of them ennyway but sum not eeven their) a bit wear the legs meet and a few uther pointless bits of hare hear and their -sad. der wimmins only has too titties wear as a cat has lots and der dangly bits on der men cood get ver nasty bashed up if not careful or cort in sumthink wot i wood think cood bee ver panefull, ware as mine is nicely tucked away thank yoo. der won thing i doo think is sensible in cloaths is pockits and yoo dont get no pockits wen nuddy.

i went and had anuther look at my dads' bike (thats short four bye-sigh-kle) and looked at the little seet he has four sitting on and i think that sigh-kling in der nuddy is a ver ver bad idea four hoomans cos his seat thingy is hard and a bit pointee and if yoo went over a bump or hit a whole in the rode like wot their are lots, the pointee bit of the seet cood go up sumware ver narsty and privet, like wot i yoos wen i go too the toilet and things. my dad orlsew say that hooman laydees (thats' a posh werd for fee-mails) has more wholes their than mails down their - i do'nt no wot four cos runty dont tork about it - so they cood get intoo reel trubble riding there bikes nuddy if they hit a bump or whole. or the men cood hit the bar thing with the dangly bits. and as for the bloak on the skate bawd, well he cood reely have a narsty time!!!

i think i stick too my territtorree and sleap in the guardin to reecover from the shock of orl this.