Thoughts of a Top Cat

Hoomans is not orl bad, yoo no. They has put out hour sunny table on the pat-ee-oh for sunday barthing in the mournings and ver nice it is to!!! Hear is a nice picksher of me n runty using hour table. Ockayjonally der hoomans wont to yoos it so they can eat and drink and things off it, wot wee doo allow but is not ver nice too think that they put there food wear we is sleeping and lying and scraching and things.
They has orlso got out our lownjers. Now hear is moor of a problem cos sumtimes der hoomans insist on sitting on them or wont us to share nicely thingy - well, this just wo'nt do and they is sumtimes ver rude and throw us off or shuv us over. and then in the eevenings they wont to put the cushons inside and wake us up and things. I mean, look, hoos guarden is it, eh? hoo yooses it moste? gose too the toilet in it nicely and in privet, who guards it, eh, arsner that wun? rite. nuff sed. nice too have the things out aygen but them hoomans better woch it.

oh yes, i has had lots of visiters and gests. the payrents woz going to go near dartmouth road, round the corner wear i do not go, in devon too sea danl and roses but my mum got sick. mimi wood have cum and fed and served me and i wood have let her feed the others two but the payrents woz at home but still she cum to visit me. this woz ver very nice to sea her aggen. shame woz she brort a little boy. now i is not frytend of littel boys or ennythink, no, i just needed to pop necks door to check on my territtorree their four a few ours as the peeple woz away. so i sore less of mimi wot woz a shame. then my big bruvver danel cum up to sea me and then roses cum two. its grate too sea my big bruv aggen but why he bring this feemail around orl the time i do'nt no, i suppose they are orl rite, i mean runtys ok even if gwen is'nt. hes not as much fun as when we woz yung together but he is still nice to me and he is my big bruvver and we has a more matt-yure relay-shon-ship- now!!!