Thoughts of a Top Cat

hear ah sum ver nice noo pickshers of me, ov cause wot sho yoo moor bout the life of a top cat.

in der ferst picksher yoo can see me gardin der hous and der cat food. this is a most see-ree-uss job cos wen der daw is open like this sumwun cood sneek in and steel orl der hill sigh-ence food!!! wot wood bee terrible!!! (der littel bag is runtys' speshall food four her you-rinn-ary problem thingy - they can steel that if they wont - acksherley better not or she wood get upset and pea moor).

der necks picksher show me dooing my brillant trick of drinkin strait from der tap in der barth room down stares with runty weighting her tern. why is she weighting her tern and not going ferst???? cos hoo is top cat eh??? proof!!!

necks my dad is beeing yoosfull for wunce and beeing a nice pillow wile i has a short nap beefour going out on petrole. cos a top cats' werk is never dun!!

oh yes, and a smorl complante. der ver big dubble bed is reely mine but i let hoomans sleap in it at nite for a bit. well, i popped up stares the uther morning (satterday, i think it woz) and their woz the payrents still in bed with the gardenia noose paper everyware, runty on their two!!! and not much space for me. now look, the payrents had better understand egg-sackly wot a time share is, ok???? it mean that they has a short share of the bed in the nite and i has the bed the rest of the time if i wonts it and runty two. they had better lern there lesson on that won or their cood be trubble. hoo run this house, eh?