Thoughts of a Top Cat

i is not shure whye the payrents is so pleesed with danl and zo but i will tell yoo ennyweigh.

cos danl is not ver clever as a dock-ter (thats' a hooman vet) and he needs too doo moor tray-ning (not like uncle josh wot nose orl he kneads to no bout looking after my saw eyes-ee-pyesis). enny weigh too doo maw training has been a total mess and lots of peeple has had to resign (this werd means to rite yore name aggen) and leave there jobs and things. well, danl, not beeing ver clever needs ver badly too doo moor tray-ning and he has got his training corled run-through for 5 or 6 or 7 years (danl run for that long???? ha ha ha!!!!) and he got it ware he wont it back wear he woz ferst lerning to be a dock-ter and he is going to live with roses and the runt cat archie back in the home wot he had beefour. the payrents is going to spend lots of munny (more than a bag of hills science cost) to make it nice so danl and roses wo'nt bee able to moove in their for a bit and danl will have to compute from home to kings-ton for a munth or sew. it will be grate to have my big bruv home for a bit!!!! and i will help him cos i is moor cleverer than wot he is and do'nt need more training. this orlso mean that roses can doo her corse in health sigh-collo-gee at city you-niv-ers-ity living their too. this corse is corled post graduate, cos wen yoo finish yoo get letters after your name sent to you by post (i mite be rong hear, not shoor cos it do'nt make sense too mee). the payrents will let archie the runty cat liv their two and put in a cat flap. sum tray-ning is to help way-ters lern too carry trays but i think that is two difficult for danl.

zo dun got sumthing at you-niv-er-sity corled a First Class digree. the payrents reckon this is bout rite for her and is ver pleased and so is she and this makes her a graduate. wot is a First Class digree, yoo arsk??? well, i has werked it out. when yoo graduate yoo is then post graduate and i think it means that zo can post orl her letters First Class without arsking. big deal!!! huh!!!

i think the thing is (and do'nt tell them this) that danl and zo is not reely ver brite or clever and so when they do a littel thing good the payrents get orl happy and say - well dunn!!!! brillant!!!! ect ect cos they wont too bee nice too them. yoo sea, ever-boddee is so yoosed to me beeing brillant, and top cat and dooing my petroles and orl that i duz not need too doo lots of yeres of tray-ning or bee aloud to send letters First Class orl the time. i is just brillant and taken for granted, sigh.