Thursday, July 05, 2007


grammer speshalls

My dad is nagging nagging aggen too put up stuff on my blog cos he not clever eenuff too have won of his own.

ok. the picksher up on the left (or is it rite?) is from Brent Educayshonall plaice (brent and ed-you-kay-shun, that a joke in itself) and my dad arsk; hoo is the person corled Art? (how shood i no?)

the necks picksher cum from Sainsbury's. oh, ho, say my dad, look wear they put the propostroffee!!! it look fine too mee. my dad think this is ded funnee cos theirs probbly thousands of these orl over the plaice and the cuntry orl rong. ha ha. and peeple wot doo these things cant spot it. he still wont' tel me wo'ts rong. he do'nt realise that i has studdid how peeple yoos the appostrotoffee and the arnser is yoo stick them wear ever yoo wont.

he say the larst won is the best of orl. this cum from the jim corled fatness farst wear dad doo go and he say that the werds in big letters is just soo bad he larf and larf and larf. hee not only larf at the obveeuss mistaike (he still wo'nt tell me wot it is!!! grrrr!!!) but he say they do'nt no how to yoos capital letters neither and do'nt no a nun or noun from a propper nown. i think this t-shirt is saying that if you have a thing corled a Fit yoo shood go to a jim. now i do'nt have a my fit or a your fit so i is not sure wot this mean. i no wen hoomans by clothes to cuvver there pathetic boddies wot has orlmost know furr at orl, unlike mee wot has wunderful furr four orl whethers, they say oh, I think that fit yoo ver well, so maybee thats a Think Your Fit. (he orlsow say the ferst dash in der fone number is rong).

sow, wee orl say, well dunn to der adult edyoukayshun deepartment of Bent Council, to Saynsbugs soopermarket (wot is not clever enuff to cell mr hills sigh-ens food) and speshall well dun to Fatness Fast Jim!!! (my dad am dick-tay-ting this at my sholder!!!)

hi Biggles
What a lot of news! i have missed your blogs while you havent been allowed on the computer so it is good to catch up with you
i am now a mature cat as I am nearly four next July. I had a nice birthday because i slept all day then Staff gave us chicken and liver in a tin. we dont usually get this cos Staff says the smell of liver makes her want to puke-dont understand this myself as I stick my nose into it to eat it and it smells lovely.
Staff is doing something called 'working at home' today. this means that she gets out of bed late, therefore feeding us late, throws away empty wine bottle from last night, drinks coffee and plays on the computer. She has let me on for a bit to check the internet but she will probably make me get off soon cos she will need to go back to the facebook thing that she says she is addicted to. i guess that is when she does real work.
i dont understand about the doctor thing and the first class post thing but Staff says that is brilliant so I say well done.
we have had lots of birds recently.
i dont know where the pond district is but will ask staff. it has been like a pond district here recently but the water has gone now so i can go outside to the toilet rather than doing it in the bath. i have recently been sleeping for 18 hours at a time which has been very very good. i get on top of the wardrobe so the other two cant see me and sometimes climb in the suitcase. you can tell i have been there because my white fur comes off a bit in the suitcase. my black fur doesnt seem to come off except when staff is wearing white.
Staff keeps on trying to watch people hit balls with big paddle things over nets. it keeps on raining though. i dont really understand what the fun is in hitting balls everywhere. i prefer rugby. luckily so does staff so we can watch it.
Staff is seeing someone called Mr Suralansugar next week cos she wants a job on tv. she says she filled in a form as a joke and now has to go to a place called Man-Chest-r for an interview. I hope it is better than when she wanted to be a Chef in a field as she was unbearable after she went there. i wish she would make up her mind about what she wants to do. Maybe she should just be a top cat. But not as top as us (have decided that it is ok for us both to be top cats to share the load- you are south of a place called wotfordgap and i am north so between us we should have the country covered)
anyway, she is coming back now so had better go.
your friend the mature nearly 4 next july cat

ps have you noticed that i havent used rude words today? it is very difficult as Staff's malign influence usually rubs off on me -people at work say she has got a disease called torr-etts. i think i caught it from her a bit.
You've linked me!!!! I am very impressed Biggles!
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