Thursday, July 12, 2007
ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! my dad is soooo stoooopid!!!!
scuse me if i larff and larf and larffff!!!! ha ha. wot is this runty (no offens ment to my cat runty) yoosless thingy hear!!! well, as yoo no Tree Sir John dun cum to cut down the plumb trees and things wot is noan as pruning cos plumb trees grow prunes wen the plumbs is orl dride up, ok? well, my dad had this plumb tree corled victoria (do'nt no why he gave it a name). wot hee do not no propper is that victoria woz stuck onto sumthing corled stock (not shure bout this, payrents yoos stock when cooking sumtimes and then you share it with the food and corl it stocks and shares). enny weigh my dad woz supposed to cut cut cut the stocky bits but he do'nt no nuthink bout trees at orl so the stocky things gro and gro and gro and victoria dont' get no charns.
sir tree sir john, he say dig up the hole thing and start aggen but my dad say wot about giving it anuther charns. he say, ok i leve the big stumpy thing wot is victoria and maybee in for yeres you mite get sum froot (cos my dad doo luv his froot). but he say, the stocky things is so big that they is going to gro and gro and bee big so yoo got to cut them lots. my dad say ok, but i no him better and he am so ignorant and stoopid in the guardin that i bileave it will be a disarster. but i wont larff in his face cos he will bet upset but he is ded stoopid.
AND I WONT TOO CORRECT A MYSTAKE THAT PEEPEL HAS BOUT WEN THE PAYRENTS GO OUT AND SPESHALLY WEN THEY GO AWEIGH, OK!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I duz not get orl loanly and miss them and then cum for loads of cuddles and orl when the cum back and sit on them and purr lots and lots, and lye on a handy pandy and things. look, i is a top cat, ok? and i duz petroles and stuff ok? wot i is dooing wen i is cuddling them and stuff wen they has bin out is giving them re-ash-oor-ants (few!!! big word that!) that everythink is ok and cos they miss ME!!!! so, we got that won clear then. good.
Oscar is very sad that he has offended you. he didnt mean to! He is a bit of a wimp and hides and therefore expects all other cats to do the same. us top cats dont hide do we!!!
Molly and Denny
Strangers can be a little bit dodgy sometimes. they might want to steal me because I am so beautiful.
Iam not frightened by button moon! I am a brave cat. But i cant watch it on the tv cos Staff is watching the rugby. she usually goes to watch it with Sensible Staff who is my friend Harry's mum but it is raining too much apparently. Staff needs waterproof fur like me. When she came in I had to laugh. She was dripping wet, her glasses were all steamy and she had a plastic bag on her plaster cast. Her hair was all frizzy and silly looking- now I know why she uses those jee-aych-dee straightening thingies in the morning!
bye for now, your friend SoggyOscar
ps dont know if this will post because Staff is currently installing some new software on the computer and it keeps on being silly. something to do with a window. i dont know- i am pandacat.
I am cross,I have been trying to use the ocmputer all day but mummy was hogging it. She has done something to her ipod and wiped all the music off it. she had to einstall it and now it has lost the playlists. she is cross and has given up so I can now use the computer.
I have had a very busy day sleeping on the armchair. mummy has taken to putting a towel on the chiar as I am shedding fur like there is no tomorrow.the chiar which isusually blue was white yesterday and now i have a lovely soft orange and pink towel to sleep on!
It is still raining cats and dogs here and I don't like going out and getting wet feet as I am a wimp.
I am going now as I want to see if mummy will give me some dinner i am hungry.
your friend Paddygay
i have not washed for 3 days. i smell a bit.
bye for now
Staff said it is good that the horrid peeple left the sarf wimbledon place and that she hopes it wasnt too messy. she was telling me about her parents new house that she went to yesterday where they have three feet (or was it legs) stone walls but the silly peeple wot lived there before painted the walls green and blue and yellow. she says her dad is going to strip them. i dont know why taking his clothes off will sort the colours out. that's Staff's parents for you.
i dont get the religion thing either. i think Staff might be quite a religious person because she says names like God and Christ a lot, normally when she is cross. she works for what she calls a cult as well. i dont know-these humans are very very complicated.
it wasnt raining this evening so i went outside to go to the toilet. it then started raining so i am now wet and am making wet paw prints on the keyboard. Molly is making wet prints on the sofa i think the computer is a little bit broken at the moment cos it is making silly noises. Denny pulled it off Staff's lap on Friday-he is so young and so foolish. not like us wise older cats eh?