Monday, July 09, 2007


i has bin told i is rong!!

My payrents so that I is rong about zo and her First Class thing at you-niver-city and is ver clever. she can poast her letters first class enny weigh and wot she got woz a degree, first class. well, look, wot so speshal about that; if i go to uncle mr josh the vet (wot is more cleverer than my bruv danl cos he do'nt need yeres and yeres of extra training and orlsow he can treat hoomans in an emergency but danl is not aloud to treat animals) and he think i is pawly and he put a thing up my bottom (wot is not nice at orl orltho my frend paddygay like it ver much - funny cat) when he pull it out it show i has lots of degrees and zo only has won, so that mean i is more cleverer than wot she is as well as beeing hi-er in the peckin order - maybee at you-niver-city they is putting things up there bottoms orl the time!!!!! horrid!!!!!. they orl-sew say that when she finish she is not a post graduate so it have nuthing too doo with letters, then how come she get too letters corled Bee Ay (my dad say yoo must menshon that she is orlsew a GSMD Cert (P) from her mew-sick). This doo not make enny sense too mee. and my dad say that until she grad-you-eight she is corled a grad-you-and...............and what? I sit and look at him for the rest of wot he going to say and he say nuffink and work aweigh. hoomans make no sense at orl and is not as clever as cats - they tork rubbish and sum of them forl over and brake there rists (menshonning know names, eh osker??) cos they do'nt work on orl fors.

their has bin sumthink on telly corled wimbledon. i no danl lived in south wimbledon and may go and liv their aggen. this woz orl ver strainj. too or sumtimes more than three (sorry, counting more than me, runty and gwen is difficult cos i get into the number corled "lots") was passing a borl too each uther over a netty thingy and helping themselves with a batty thing and showing how clever they is with the horizontally oposed thums, blah blah. and thats' orl they did. take terns, swop sides, have peepel help them get the borl. sumtimes the persons woz not ver nice and wood hit the borl hard and so the uther person cood not have a tern but sumtimes they played nicely toogether like wot we iz told too doo (even if i dont' doo it - tee hee) and sumtimes they woz a bit horrid. i waited too sea if they did maw with it but that woz it, honest, thats' orl they did. my mum doo hate it and leave the room, my dad think it is brillant and luv it (but then he is not ver clever, ackshirley, i do'nt think eye-ther of my payrents is ver clever when i think about it and thank goodness i is hear to run the house and gard it and orl. oske'rs staff has orlsow bin wotching the hitty ball thing, i think it is corled, dennis, like osk'ers bruvver, but i has not scene dennis playing it.

look, wen hooman beans can lick there bottoms too keep them nice and cleen then i will think they has sum intellygents. nuff sed.

Hi Biggles
i think your zo and danl are much more clever than my Staff. She went to Man-Chest-er today to see someone called suralan except he wasnt there just a "hench-man" what ever that is and they told her she was fired.
she is a bit stupid.
i dont really understand the point of the dennis game. why anyone would want to play with dennis with balls and bats i dont know. and i should know cos i have to live with denny.
one of our neighbours moved away today. they got cross with us because we got in the removal van lots. apparently they didnt want to take us to harrow-gate. i think it might have been a long way there so i am glad as i might have been sick. i am always sick if i have to go in a box on long journeys so usually if i am being rescued from somewhere local when i have got lost and they ring staff to say that i am there, i just sit on the front seat of the car.
dont listen to them when they tell you you is rong- they are only humans after all and therefore a bit stoopid. not like us top cats eh?
hello biggles
staff is stupid. she has broken my blog. hopefully my blog will come back soon once she stops being stupid. wish she would break her own things (like her arm) rather than ruining mine.
not fair
Cross Oscarpanda
two bee honest i is rarther glad Mr Henchman did not like starff and Mr suralan shergar cood not moove his arse too bee their, but i think it is ver not nice if they set starff on fire cos she is a bit of a clumsee cripple at der best of times eeven by hooman standards. but bee nice too her cos getting good starff is ver difficult.
i has adviced yoo beefour about going outside of the territtorree. i doo not no wot a remooval van is but it doo not sound good and harrow-gate (that may be long whey from me on der edge of london.....maybe not. Yess, car jernies is not good. roses cat, the runtie archie, doo puke, piss and shit himself within too minits of driving enny wear. keep too der rite side of der trakcs and yoo will live too be my age!!
thank you for your advice bout Staff Biggles. SHe is very difficult to put up with sometimes, what with her clumsiness, blog breaking and eating silly food. today she had vegetables. i dont really know what they are. are they like slugs?
something she called a much-room looked like a slug.
she is in a better mood tonight but hope she doesnt raid the kitchen in her sleep tonight. last night she ate half a pot of mustard and then dropped the rest of it on the floor!
thank you for your wisdom-i dont get much of that round here at the moment!
Hello Biggles, paddy gay here again. Yes, it has taken a while to reply to your last messge, but I was very traumatised by the rain and theflooding. My feet got wet and mummy said that affected my brain because I was a grumpy sod for days!

Well, the rain has all gone now and i am sitting here at the computer supervised by mummy. She has just been checking her emails and I am now allowed to blog. Mummy said she isn't moving though as she has been to the gym and is in agony and doesn't have the energy to leave me in private to write to you. She is rude!

I see that you have been very busy in the last week updating your own blog and writing about lots of interesting things. The most interesting thing I have done is curl up and sleep on the arm chair, leave a patch of my white fur behind and a dark stain patch on the cushion where i dribbled in my sleep!

Mummy left us again at the weekend she went to Scarborough by the sea and on the beach so we were fed by other mummy with her broken arm. It's not fair, I want to go on a holiday although the sea sounds scary.

Pixie has now come in she is tired and wants to say hello to you. Lola has gone awol again, probably out playing with that nasty cat sparky.

Well mummy says I have to go now as she needs to switch off the computer. pixie is also trying to get in the cupboard under the bed and she isn't allowed, that's mine!

Your friend

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