Thoughts of a Top Cat

I is not reely wurrid but my mummy did not cum home larst nite and in der mourning she had her littel weely case with her. I is not wurrid bout this, oh no, cos we top cats doo not miss our hoomans the weigh they miss us but i doo like to have a sit on her for a littel bit in the eevning cos i no it duz her good. my dad sez not too wurry cos she is just at a littel con-frens in broadstares. i arsk him bout this and he tell me that a confrence is wear peepel meet and tork, well do'nt they orlweighs! and i suppose if their is lots and lots of them then they need wide broad stares to sit on and go up and down, tho why the bigness of the stare case shood be important i do'nt no. well, layter on their woz no bodee down stares so i popt up too the studdee and found runty sleeping on my dads chare as she duz now lots and he was sitting on the old, grotty chair and he looked as tho he needed sum cumpenny, so he let me hav a blog and then i went to sleep on the study bed cos blogging is tyreing on the luverly bloo blanket wot now has lots and lots and lots of my luverly fur on it.

well, we normally sleep in the playroom with the daw closed but i think my dad woz going to let us stay in the study we looked so settled. but then runty herd dad go in the barthroom and she jumped up for her drink and then she need her speshall time cuddle from him in the bed (now that she is peramentlee diserted by her mummy zo with the first class post degree). well, i found that i was all by my only self in the study so i woke up and thort my dad woz probbly lonely sew i wood join him in der bed. so he had runty on his chest purring and i got on the bed necks to him (not aweigh aweigh on my mums' side) and let him stroke me and pured alot. i thort it wood be good if we staid the nite like this and bee orl frendly unless i need a cuddle or a drink or sumthink in the nite or runty doo or need more cuddling, but then my dad pick runty up off his chest wot she doo not like at orl and she stop purring and he take her down to the playroom and then he cum up four me and grab me kwick and take me down two!!! he nose he has too grab me kwick or he get my clores if he try to moove me off MY bed.

i think hoomans can be reely reely ungrateful when yoo is beeing nice to them and frendly to stop them from beeing lonely and orl, and orl he doo is take us down and sleep aloane.

PS my frends osker and paddyebenezer wot live the town corled up-north have had fluds and lots and lots of reign (like in the nashonal anthem - long to reign over us). they tell me it has bean reigning cats and dogs!!! this is terrible - cats shood not have to forl out of the sky and if a big dog landed on yoo it wood hert yoo and they are two stoopid to tern in the air and land on there feet like wot a cat duz . fourtoonately wear i live it only reigns worter. my dad sez this is a metafour expreshon thingy, well i do'nt wont too bee reigned on by a metafour either!!