Thoughts of a Top Cat

my frend osker offen gose out of his territtorree and jumps in vans and gose to the fish and chip shop or to visit his blind starff in her hous. i doo not doo this but i thort that i shood no a bit maw about the werld so i has bin looking at the map of the werld wot is up in the kichin (this is ware we eat and the hoomans cook and ware i go flollop on my side too get lots of strokes - well i doo this every ware).

the hole werld is a ver ver big place and gose out as far as Amersham wot is outside zone 6 and in outer zone D and is probbly at the norff pole and is on the pritty perpull line!!!! thats a reely long way a weigh, and even has a arrow thing pointing too a plaice corled Ales-berry (sorry not shure bout spelling as had to cum upstares to type this) wot is off the map cos its' just two far!!! if yoo go down the map to the river tems (wot is spelt rong on the map as Thames) yoo can go over it, honest!!! and sea orl the far aweigh plaices like corled canada water and cyprus and plaices like that. but lots of the lines under the tems is not cullered in propperlee cos hoomans never finish anything propperlee (tippical). and there is an arrow pointing to ware yooo go when yoo die - Gravesend.

I doo not think i will travell orl over the werld but will stay in my territtorree but i think it is good that i hav werked it out from the map orl by my ownly self like wot an in-telly-gent cat doo. but i doo like the map cos it has lots of lines drorn in pritty cullers. my dad sez we live on the boring grey line.

PS hoomans has reely no furr, but i has herd my dad yoos the werd - infurr. i think this means clever animals like wot is from intelleegent desine, like wot i is, and has furr.

this woz orl ver ver tiring and i need a good sleap now.

PS my bruv, danl, sez that when i flollop over four a stroke or lots i look like a seal pup weighting too be clubbed. i has never bin clubbing cos it is not wot nice cats doo, but i think he is not beeing ver nice bout me, so i am wotching him ded close. and he has just throne me off his bed when he wonts to make it cos roses is cumming to stay - he'd better wotch it!!!!!!