Thoughts of a Top Cat

i got intoo a fite. well, the payrents went owt four the eevning to sea sumboddy corled spamalot (strainj naim). and, of coarse, they go owt i has maw too doo. so i went owt on petrole and orl propper and their woz this uther cat wot i had too sea off. the payrents notist i had blud arownd my rite i (eye?) (or woz it the left?) and a narsty bit of bluddy stuff on my hed. they arsked wot had happend but i di'dnt tell them cos of cats' honner and orl that - sum things we just do'nt tell - like hoomans, like when the payrents is planning a holly-day, even tho they do'nt take no holly from the holly tree in the gardin on that day (tippical hooman stoopidity). well, i is reecuvring fine and did not knead too go too sea mr josh vet or werk enny less. no no, i has solejerd on like wot yoo wood orl expect.

the fotos show yoo that i duz not hang around or just sleep. hear yoo can sea mee keeping myself fit and on gard and reddy for the fite. oh yes, i has orlweighs bin particular hard on ded leaves, I can pouns and distroy them and tare them to bits enny time and with my fearsomness. menny a ded leaf has sufferd at my amaysing hunting skills. i orlso cort and eight an inseckt the uther eevning. this is orl corled tray-ning, hoomans doo it to practis working around on oanly to legs by carrying a tray, thats' wye its' corled, tray-ning, sea? simple.