Thoughts of a Top Cat

This is the moast embarrassing thing ever ever ever on my blog.

My dad do'nt have a blog, rite? cos he two stoopid too set won up and cos he got nuffink too say ennyweigh. i duz not hav a compooter, rite, so has to yoos his pooter but i has lots and lots too say like wot is ver ver intresting and important.

my dad has been nagging and nagging me that he wont to borrow my blog so that he can show yoo these pickshers and tell yoo bout wot they are. i ca'nt stand it enny longer. so, really sorry bout this and yoo can stop reeding this.

they dun up a horl (dad sez yoo spell it HALL but that ridicyooluss cos it do'nt sound ennything like that) corled the festival horl and wen they opened the horl aggen they had a big party and stuff cos they think they soo clever. well, thats' totally stoopid, when my payrents pante the horl they do'nt have a big partee or ennything cos its' no big deel. ennyweigh, so they open the horl cos they finished painting it and have noo carpet ect. i arsk my dad wot it look like and he say that it look much the same, the carpet is the same grotty desine as beefour and the new seats are just as two smorll and uncumffy as the old wuns. well, ai'nt that tippical of hooman beans, eh?? car'nt get ennything rite and have no imaginayshon. reely sad. my dad say they have spent lots and lots and lots of munny maiking the horls' reverberayshon (wot?!?!?!?!?!?!?) longer so that the sound is wormer (whot is this man on about). its' only a horl. i mean we got a horl and yoo probbly got wun in yore home two.

enny weigh, the thing wot reely reely ecksited my dad is that their is his faverit bus ever out their. he luv this tipe of bus, it is corled the RT, and he wont yoo to no that they builded 4825 of them plus 1631 RTL with a ingin by Leyland wot he say woz yuk plus 500 RTW wot woz yuck Leyland ingin and was wider it had 8 feet rather than 7 foot 6 wide (6 wot, dad??). He say the RT have an ingin by AEC and purred luverly and was liter than the Leyland busses. (wot doo this orl mean?????? and it had 56 seats and a 9.6 litre engine and 115 break hoarse power. (please tell me wot he on about). and the boddeewerk woz by........no no no no eenuff!!!!!!

he orlso wont yoo too no bout the gear box (i is dying hear) wot is in the foto abuv, and had a pre-selecting new-matic gearbox. that mean the driver put the leever wear he wont four the next gear and then push down the cluch wot werk by air and make a little puff noise (bit like a fart?) no he say, not like a fart, and he look cross at mee. ok, this is sooooo interesting, dad, i is total fassinated, onnist. and yore pooter is luverly to.

i arsk him how cum he sew interested in busses ect, and he say that when he woz a boy he woz a bus spotter (he go round putting spots on busses - he not just totally sad but mad as well!!!!!!) and this woz his faverit bus. but he stoppt when he got pew-bertie (?????????????)

i say to him that I very sorree he got a bad disease corled pew-bertie. he look at me and frown. bodger, he say, wear doo yoo think baybies cum from?? that easy, i say, they cum from mr mayhew home, rspca, silly, but i no that not orl baybies cum from their (he look rilveeved) cos my frend osker has tolde me that if yoo has a litter tray, like wot wee doo not have, then yoo can get more baybies and kittens bornded in a litter tray than oanlee wun at a time. he look a bit wurrid at this and arsk how the baby is maid. i say it maid by mr mayhew home, sillee. then he arsk, wye doo i think that danl is with roses and doo the kissy kissy kuddle thing, i dunno, i do'nt doo it with runty even tho wee is frends and sertenlee not with gwen (yuk). well, he say danl and roses had got the pew-bertie thing and then they doo kissy cuddle stuff but i do'nt cos mr mayhew home dun a littel operyashon wen i woz little and runty and gwen has got spades (he maid a mystake hear and sed they woz spade, wot make no sense, but tippical of my dad).

thank gawd, at this point he giv up and i can go back too sleap. (do'nt wurry i will remoove this sillee poast when he not looking. cos it is reelee embarrassing.

i hope nun of yoo has ever had pew-bertie it sound lots werser than cat floo!

i is sooooo tired now.