Tuesday, September 18, 2007
a ver bizzy cat!!!
I no that sum of yoo duz not bileeve that I doo my jobs propper cos sew menny of the fotos of mee i is asleep. well, this is cos I is such a farst moover that two menny fotos of me is bleurred when i moove.
ok, so hear is mee dooin three jobs:
gardin the cat fud
gardin the guardin by hidin in a flour bed wear i is ver well camyouflarjed (wot mean i is hard too sea sow take yore time if yoo do'nt sea mea at ferst)
out on petrole.
er, ackshirley, the uther job wot i is dooing and did on my oan inishativ my dad woz not sew pleesed and did not thank me!!! well, he put the woshin into the barskit and brort it in, rite? well, obveeussley yoo car'nt risk just leeving their like that, enny wun cood steel it (plus it looked ded cumfy and coazee), so I thort i wood lie on it to keep it safe. and i orlsew no that my mum has blowses wot if they is folded ver nicely doo not knead the full irony, so I woz giving thees nice blowses a nice press - sort of mini irony. my dad is out in the guardin cutting the grarss (yes, I no, aggen, yes, i no, i have tolde him it will gro back, yes, i no, he never lissens - hopeless), so i is giving the blowses a ver nice press and orl that and he cum in and get me off!!! well, theirs thanks four yoo, thats' the larst time i bother to help him owt bye showing inishativ, i can tell yoo!! (and it was ded cumfy to).
my frends has bin riting bout my dads' incredibly stoopid and boring poast, for wot i is ver sorree and he sez i car'nt take down (rotten meenee). and he is still chequing that it is still their sew i carnt' sneek on and take it off..........yet.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my frends n mee is orlsow trying to werk out this pew-bertie illness and orl that wot doo sound exteemlly narsty. there woz a black cat wot lived near hear and i think he had this illeness cos he woz ver ver rood and wood growl and yowl very lo and hiss and sware and thretton to scrach. but he oanly had wun frunt leg so he wood thretten with his stump wot woz not vary scary. but i think hee did not liv a long time.
well, baybees just doo cum from mr Mayhew home and how they orlso cum in litter trays with a few kittens i just do'nt no and nor duz osker. like paddee, i do'nt think we shood wurry two much about it and just enjoy hour food.
danl and roses has left for sarff wimbledon. this is a ver ver long weigh aweigh cos i has looked at my map of the werld and it is a long weigh on the black line, kneely to the uther end of the erth. the payrents helpd them moov and took lots and lots of stuff. they has a top cat of wun (ha ha) the small archy-bald-ness, two bee honest wot is top cat of WUN wot orlso make him BOTTOM CAT ha ha. well, he ai'nt gowing to be much yoos, not like me a propoer top cat. i is sorree they has gon cos it woz nice having them hear even if danl is jellus of mee and sez narstee things bout me, i forgiv him cos i is mateur.
I have been a scaredy cat this week because I had to have a new collar. It was Dennace's fault because he loses one each week and Staff ran out of clicky collars so she gave him mine because I am the only one who can be trusted not to hang myself with a buckle collar. So she put the buckle collar on me until she could go to the place where they sell clicky collars. she bought me a nice black one but i got scared because she put a new collar on me twice in a week. I was so scared I nearly had to have a wash. but not quite.
do you think my spelling is getting better? i am trying to use long words and am following your advice about spelling things like camo-flarge how they sound. which must be rite.
Have you ever been swimming? If you haven't I dont recommend it. I went for a paddle in the canal last night and, according to my nice well-mannered staff, I stink.