Thoughts of a Top Cat

As yoo no, I offen sit on the Graudinia to lern lots of stuff and last satterday their woz a ver ver sad storee bout a cat corled Wilson wot looked like a luverly cat and wot dyed at the age of only 13, like wot my dad sez is oanlee wun yere older than wot me, n runty n gwen the miggit is. and he woz a nice helthy wait like wot i is. mr josh doo say that maybee i has a bit of ohbee city but that is a baw-ring telly pogrom but hooman vets. but he got ver ver pawly and had to bee taken too the vet too bee put too sleep - i can put myself too sleep ver eesily thank yoo and do not knead mr josh, the vet, too doo it four me, thank yoo.

well, wilson dyed and their woz this ver ver nice storee bout it told bye a laydee corled sabine durrant and liek how she tolde her children and how they dun got his ashis (dunno how yoo doo that and my dad wo'nt say) and now my dad sez that wilson has gon too the grate cattery in the sky - i cant' sea it eeven with my brillant aye site, coz i do'nt wont it too forl on my hed, thank yoo ver much!!

wilson mite hav bin orlmost as good a top cat as mee, neerly but not quite of coarse, as i is the top cat hear and my dad says i is the best of the best of the best, and i gard the hous and my territtorree and doo lots of helpin with the jobs, speshally now that danl and zo do'nt liv hear no maw, and when they doo cum they orlweighs bring them uther wuns with them etc etc

enny weigh it is a sad, sweet storee and yoo can find it in family guardinian Satterday, therd of may.

Well, it is not offen that I admit that I is a fayl-yore cos I is sow brillant I can doo orlmost ennythink but I has found sumthink like wot i cant' doo. As yoo no i is brillant and like to drink worter from the barff down stares, and now runty nose like wot i is maw important in this barff than like wot shee is and she is orl sew drinkin from lots of uvver taps.

well, i has bin trying too cach worter and i tell yoo it is ver ver difficult. worter is slippree stuff and ver tricky. oh, ho, i am shaw my dad wood say, its' cos yoo ai'nt not got a horizontally opposed thum like wot i has. but i tell yoo i has never seen him cach worter nye-ther. well, i doo try but its kwite frustraytin reely and then my dad terns the tap off just wen i think i can doo it cos heesa meenee.

me n runty woz havin a chat bout this by the pongy cloaths barskit, ver nice plaice, and she think i is stoopid too try and cach worter and orl she wonts is too drink! drink! drink! cos she is bonkers. i say i has the booch bole outside two!!!

wen the wether is nice i is poppin up on my shed roof to Sir Vey my territtorree and I let runty yoos it two.

the pritty daffidills has gon now, wot is sad for my cam-yoo-flarj but we has lots of bloo bells in the guardin now wot is pritty but they is not reely bloo - so how cum they is corled bloo bells and not moav/move bells????

runty hav not bin well.........aggen with her bladder problem. she has bin pissin evry wear. mr josh had gon aweigh on a holly-day and there was a small person corled mr then miss low-cum their insted. well, runty dun hav her steer-royds and her anti-bioticd ink-jet-shons but she woz still mizerble and pissing lots in the house with blud innit wot is not good at orl. shee went sleaping in a ver strainj corner in the study on a hidey shelf on some envelopes and my dad say this is not a good sine. so now mr josh giv her more anty-bioticks tabloids wot my dad hav to stick down her gob. i has looked at thees anti-biotick tabloid thingies and they do'nt look like they got ants in them too mee - maybee the ant bit is crushed up, orltho i do'nt see wye eatin ants duz yoo good.

runty doo seam a bit better now but she is still not write. i woz sleapin with her in the studdee on a nice chair and when their woz the narsty thunder in the skye i woz moovin under the bed in the studdee too bee nearer to runty on her shelf and not cos i woz scared of the thunder or nuffink!!! OK!!!!!!!!!!!

my dad is taykin too anti-bioticks at the same time cos he has ver nastee things happning in his teeth routes. i has tolde him if yoo eet the food of mr hills sigh-ence then yoo do'nt get no tooth trubbles but thees hoomans never lissen doo they, eh??