Thoughts of a Top Cat

Well, it is not offen that I admit that I is a fayl-yore cos I is sow brillant I can doo orlmost ennythink but I has found sumthink like wot i cant' doo. As yoo no i is brillant and like to drink worter from the barff down stares, and now runty nose like wot i is maw important in this barff than like wot shee is and she is orl sew drinkin from lots of uvver taps.

well, i has bin trying too cach worter and i tell yoo it is ver ver difficult. worter is slippree stuff and ver tricky. oh, ho, i am shaw my dad wood say, its' cos yoo ai'nt not got a horizontally opposed thum like wot i has. but i tell yoo i has never seen him cach worter nye-ther. well, i doo try but its kwite frustraytin reely and then my dad terns the tap off just wen i think i can doo it cos heesa meenee.

me n runty woz havin a chat bout this by the pongy cloaths barskit, ver nice plaice, and she think i is stoopid too try and cach worter and orl she wonts is too drink! drink! drink! cos she is bonkers. i say i has the booch bole outside two!!!

wen the wether is nice i is poppin up on my shed roof to Sir Vey my territtorree and I let runty yoos it two.

the pritty daffidills has gon now, wot is sad for my cam-yoo-flarj but we has lots of bloo bells in the guardin now wot is pritty but they is not reely bloo - so how cum they is corled bloo bells and not moav/move bells????

runty hav not bin well.........aggen with her bladder problem. she has bin pissin evry wear. mr josh had gon aweigh on a holly-day and there was a small person corled mr then miss low-cum their insted. well, runty dun hav her steer-royds and her anti-bioticd ink-jet-shons but she woz still mizerble and pissing lots in the house with blud innit wot is not good at orl. shee went sleaping in a ver strainj corner in the study on a hidey shelf on some envelopes and my dad say this is not a good sine. so now mr josh giv her more anty-bioticks tabloids wot my dad hav to stick down her gob. i has looked at thees anti-biotick tabloid thingies and they do'nt look like they got ants in them too mee - maybee the ant bit is crushed up, orltho i do'nt see wye eatin ants duz yoo good.

runty doo seam a bit better now but she is still not write. i woz sleapin with her in the studdee on a nice chair and when their woz the narsty thunder in the skye i woz moovin under the bed in the studdee too bee nearer to runty on her shelf and not cos i woz scared of the thunder or nuffink!!! OK!!!!!!!!!!!

my dad is taykin too anti-bioticks at the same time cos he has ver nastee things happning in his teeth routes. i has tolde him if yoo eet the food of mr hills sigh-ence then yoo do'nt get no tooth trubbles but thees hoomans never lissen doo they, eh??