Friday, August 01, 2008
My dad got in-jew-erd
The larst thyme wot I woz allowed too blog it woz der 9ff may, along long long long time agow - yoo can sea mee weighting four a tern wot never cum.
Well, der 9ff may was a ver ver bad day cos my dad got in-jew-erd ver badlee. He woz still gowing off to catch der mous in der mousecrap fingy but never ackshirley caching it, rite? well, off he go on 9th may too fale aggen to cach der mous. well, he like too go on his bike and he is sighkling home and he is a good buoy cos he got der flashy lites at der frunt and der back, der hellmet, der brighty ree-flecting belt, der ree-flectas on der peddles, der wite socks and orl. well he cum too der traffick lites wot is green wot meens go!!! (dont' arsk wye cos i do'nt no) so my dad go farster and dis car wot cum der uvver way tern rite and hit my dad.
well, this make me ver ver cross to hert my dad like this. he has to go to der A-N-D at Sent Marys' and he hav too stay their cos his back is hert badlee and they say he carnt cum home for a cupple of days. well, wen he cum home he is know fun at orl he can bearly work or moove, and wen I go flollop for a stroke hee doo not giv me won at orl!!! wot is ver rude. he say he carnt bend or nuffink.
well, he spend lots and lots and lots of time in bed and he mone and grown and orl and take lots and lots of drugs orl the time and he is a proppa old mizery guts.
he never gow back too the mousecrap at orl cos his time for catching the mouse is up and he say that hee is still two pawly too go back. well, at larst he say i can hav a tern on the puter and doo a blog but it has bin sew long it is just not funnee. as four my dad he looks just fine too mee but hee keep moaning and growning bout his back and orl the things he still carnt' doo, blah blah. i arsk him if yoo get a wers in-jew-erd-ree if yoo is a jew, my dad sez no but it can help.
seeriusslee, i is ver ver cross that this stoopid man hert my dad, and i wood like too scrach his ayes owt and kill him four herting my dad. my dad sez wot makes it werss is that his kar was a krap kar corled a kia. Still wen he got a bit betta and cum down stares maw it has meaned that the daws is open lots wen the sun shines and me n runty can go in and owt wen we like.
soo i will rite aggen soon now that i can blog aggen (and my dad has maid up for not strowking me beefour bye giving me lots and lots of strokes since - orltho i has too menshon that him and my mum keep putting oyntment in my rite aye wot maik me cross coz i do'nt liek it. they took me too mr josh wot giv me a luverly nuzzle and doo say that my rite aye is saw (well, cause it is i look throo it, stoopid) and he giv them a oikment).
and gess wot, i has lost 0.7 keelow in wait, mr josh woz ver pleezed. i sed its' cos i doo sew much eggsersize cachin corky der cork and my fevver toy from roses. got too gow, bizzy bizzy bizzy.
Blind mummy is a right old whingebag at the moment. she is working too many hours, doing too much for no thanks at all. She says that the bloody probationists have a lot to answer for! Consequently she is not at home much and I am not stroked as much as I deserve to be. And she is going to Cuba to walk miles and miles and miles!
Your friend Paddy who is feeling neglected