Thoughts of a Top Cat

now dis mr darwin was intersted in snails and worms and uvver fings wot is i has to say, is borin and pointless and my hooman dad (well, i let him fink i need him more then he needs me) wants to watch crickets all der time and listen to dem on der radio too. chirrup chirrup dey go rubbin there back legs togever, my dear old fing, dey say on der raddio, how many's dat bearders? and after geoffrey it'll be aggers? ver ver strange animals. and my dad is so cross cos now he can only see dem in der Sky for 4 years and he hates der sky! so instead he gets on his bike and he goes to watch der crickets at der home of some lords.

but i say dis. 1. cricket is no more intersting dan worm or snail. 2. of course dey is in der sky dey can fly so no point hating dat or at least jump up and down. 3. dey is stupid wiv der legs rubbin and bein so noisey. 4. crickets is like locusts and we has all bean warned about der plageu of locusts swarming throo der skys. and look now we has it - that nasty mr ryanair does locust flyin all der tiem, and easy locust flyin, dey is ever were and pollutinin der planit.

so down with cricket and locust flyin i say, and my hooman dad and that mr darwin ort to learn to do something yoosful like wot i do ever day.

ps. my dad says der crickets was not ver interesting at mr lord's and day kept droppin their matches, catches win matches or sumfin. why you want to throw a box of matches i don't know, hoomans is sad relly.

tiem for a nap